Byron Hurt's "Toxic Masculinity: Locker Room Talk," by Andrea Trevino

The event I attended for the queer immersion was Byron Hurt’s “Toxic Masculinity: Locker Room Talk” talk. He started his event by explaining the title of his event. It came to him during President Trump’s remarks about grabbing women by the genetalia. Not only did his comments catch him surprise but even more how everyone was ignoring and disregarding the comments as locker room talk. He stated how it was important for him to reminisce on his life experiences with the theme of intersectionality in the sense that he came from an experience of being a football quarterback, a black male, and now an activist and feminist. He learned what it takes to become a heterosexual male in the world. 

Language such as the one he used to describe his world became the center of his talk as he began the main exercise which was the box exercise. He gave a presentation which intended to show how men are conditioned to act in American culture by interactively asking the audience to think and say words that describe stereotypes society attaches to men. At first he only wanted men to answer this question but then allowed the women in the room to participate because we might have a better understanding of how men are affected by these labels. The majority of the words were typically associated with negative stereotypical masculinity. These adjectives and verbs are what have socialized men’s behavior. Some of the words included strong, manly, aggressive. Once there was no more room in the box, he asked the audience to provide words that came with men going against these gender roles and actions. These were ironically words that were linked to femininity such as pussy, bitch or sissy. These social words ignites a defense in order to regain the masculinity which is lost when stepping outside the box of conforming to gender norms.

Byron Hurt then explained the consequences of toxic masculinity which include isolation, depression and even suicide. There can even be generational trauma such as alcoholism which he experienced in his home watching his father struggle with this addiction and being abusive to his mother. This power which comes from masculinity is so strong that it leads to not only the ignorance of actions and seriousness of what gender roles’ condition men to live up. Toxic masculinity teaches boys how to “be a man”. Justin Baldoni’s TED talk “Why I’m done trying to be ‘man enough’” reiterates this idea of how men are conditioned, “I’ve been told the kind of man that I should grow up to be. As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. Girls are weak, and boys are strong…I believe the only way that can happen is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities that we were told are feminine in ourselves but to be willing to stand up, to champion and learn from the women who embody them.” I appreciate both Byron and Justin’s insights on the dangers of toxic masculinity. The only way to combat this and make a change is how Mr. Hurt concluded his session, “As you graduate, you have the power to change workforces and this language.” As I continue to learn and explore about these topics as a Women and Gender Studies minor, I hope to have the tools to change this language especially in the workforce; for the betterment of both men and women and the LGBT community.